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Mainly because there worthless and populated with fake profiles.

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In exchange for a relationship (80% of Seeking Arrangement dates involve sex, but the founder Brandon Wade denies it’s a form of prostitution), cash-strapped sugar babies are lavished with gifts and cash allowances which average at £5,000 a month. If you have trouble with giving out satisfying oral sex, you should probably lick your phone instead.

Lickmyapp requires no download and encourages users to improve their oral skills with a choice of three different games, you can flick a light switch on and off, turn a crank or go freestyle – where you bounce a beach ball. You also have to remember to wrap your phone for protection first because it’s supposedly crawling with bacteria, yuck.

They have to have Platewave too, but that’s hardly the only boundary to finding love with this app.

The main one being that you’re probably a fucking eagle-eyed psychopath to use it in the first place.

Then you can go online afterwards and see how well you did against the rest of the world – who needs pillow talk anyway?

Do you spend most of your free time staring daggers at the “in a relationship” status on your one-true-love’s Facebook?

Keep an eye on them while you’re hoping they’ll fall miserably out of love with their other half with the handy website

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Want to ruin someone else’s relationship without the messy business of actually getting involved?

Then, if your Facebook friend changes their relationship status, the website will send you an email, so you’ll be right in there straight away. As well as swiping left you can use the app to specify whether you’re feeling Heavenly (“Let’s go for a cute Frappuccino and take selfies”) or Sinful (“Hey, I would like to have sex with you”).

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