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The fantasy element in sexually addictive behavior Whatever the specific behavior, sexual acting out is always largely a fantasy.It takes place outside of the person’s “real life” and it functions as a drug.The sex addict feels unlovable and insecure and meets his needs for sexual abandon in a contrived, compartmentalized way.Sex addicts feel bad about their addictive behavior afterward but they continue to do it.

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Going to prostitutes is thus part of an pattern of sexually addictive acting out behaviors.While engaging in the sexually addictive behavior, the addict escapes whatever is painful and achieves a totally gratifying experience on his own terms.This implies that the man has issues that he cannot resolve, or issues he would rather escape than allow his adult self to face head-on.The men’s reasons for having hired prostitutes were seen as predictable: wanting more sex, being unhappily married, being insecure about dating, wanting the excitement of risk, and wanting power and control.An outcome study of men who attended a “John School”, a criminal diversion program for men who are arrested for paying for sex, reported that:“Johns report a variety of reasons for why they purchase sex including the feeling that buying sex is an chatting, touching her own sex organs, sexual dancing and also playing with dildos.

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