It's an attitude people think of as very French — the idea that you can have an affair a healthy marriage. We yelled about cheating — he'd do it, I'd do it, we'd be furious with each other.
But eventually, I realized this dynamic wouldn't change.
One of us would always act out if cheating was against the rules. What if we both admitted that, yes, we were sometimes tempted, and that sometimes we acted on that temptation?
I think I was the one who brought it up over dinner one night, just after we'd moved in together.
It's harder when I think something is going on while we're both in town.
I text him if I won't be coming home (which, truthfully, happens very rarely since we've had kids), and I always have safe sex.
When I told him how I felt, he broke off his side situation.
Toward the last trimester of my pregnancy, Dave was amazing.
My husband and I had some huge fights during that time, and we both uttered the word "divorce." But deep down, neither of us wanted that. And once we settled into a comfortable rhythm of life with a baby, we both began relaxing into our old routines. I flirted with men when I went out with my single girlfriends.
And little by little, we reached the point we're at now, where both of us occasionally have affairs on the side but always come home to each other.
I was pretty sure Dave was sleeping with someone else while I was stuck at home.