Intimidating and unapproachable


Maybe you didn't opt to participate in the softball league last season, but that doesn't mean you've sworn off all organized sports forever. You may not be a social butterfly, but you like to hang out with your coworkers, at least every now and then.But, instead of piping up and asking if there's space for you to play, you let your mind wander with worry: Maybe Tanya intentionally didn't stop at your spot. If you find yourself opting out more often than you opt in, you might want to take a close look at how this appears to your colleagues.After all, women are encouraged to be assertive, accomplished and independent; being told that they’re “intimidating” sounds like they’re being told to take all of that back and pretend to be something less than what they are. Are geek guys finding a woman’s accomplishments to be somehow threatening? Because “intimidating” is so subject to personal interpretation, I thought it was best to go to the source: geek guys.I conducted an informal (and utterly unscientific) poll on the Dr.You never know, you may even become the next MVP of the office cornhole league. If a woman keeps hearing from men that she’s “intimidating”, what is she supposed to do – besides start approaching men who have more self-confidence and fewer issues?

This is not to say that incredibly beautiful women will only go for the model-handsome mind you – look at Christina Hendricks are the one making the first move, they may feel as though they will be in constant competition with other men: ones with better jobs, fatter wallets, movie-star smiles, and abs you could do laundry on.

Your instinctive response may be to play down your looks, and while this can work – there’s a reason why the “beautiful-after-all” trope exists; everyone likes the idea of the librarian who’s secretly model-gorgeous – it’s ultimately putting the responsibility on you.

Instead, make a point of being approachable and friendly.

And, if you never ever stick around for happy hour, your coworkers probably don't have the first clue about how to include you in things.

It might not be easy, but what if you tried changing up your routine every now and then?

She has a job she loves that pays good money, money that she likes to spend on her geeky hobbies and toys. – she hears the same thing over and over again: “You’re too intimidating…” Does this sound familiar to you? In fact, going by the number of emails I get from my readers, it’s most common issue that geek (or geek-curious) women encounter when they’re interested in dating.

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