But, at the same time, you aren't a Branch Davidian cult leader and you can't treat the world like a Waco sex compound, stocked with unstable teen runaways.
The situation can be a minefield, so here are a couple of ground rules for being an ethical he-ho.
I'd been with my boyfriend for six beautiful months of To us, and all of our friends, agreeing to a single date with a dude implied consent to monogamy thenceforth.
Going out with somebody else the next day would therefore be cheating, a cruel thing to do to your boyfriend on the all-important 24-hour anniversary.
Avoid friending women you date, and definitely don't, like, Tumblr pictures of you making snow angels with a girl if you're supposed to get hot cider with another that evening (in this scenario it is winter and you are charming! Don't ever give away your location—check in to a martini bar on Four Square and you might as well have posted, "Greg just became the Mayor of Another Woman's Vagina."If you've found a girl who's okay with your tomcatting, congrats!
Get all feelingsy, and you're going to ruin it in a hurry.
You weigh your pros and cons, you do your cost-benefit analysis, you use a little logic and a little emotion, and then make a largely arbitrary choice without knowing if you’re right. I stuck with that and avoided breaking a lot of hearts.
I'd just gone through a particularly harrowing breakup (it involved the bitter division of Wesley Snipes film bootlegs on VHS, to provide both historical and raw emotional context).
It was jarring to find out that our great aunt had basically spent her youth as the whore of Babylon. You're going to date Veronica _and _her best friend A lot of my friends, male and female, followed this kind of "Medieval Courtly Love, With Blowjobs" model well into college, like knights and ladies with bitterly divorced parents.
(Although, I guess she broke for Sunday, so there was that.)I don't know if it's because of Cameron Crowe movies or disease panic or protracted adolescence, but my generation believed that when you really liked somebody, you should like them solely and exclusively, even obsessively. But for those of us still single, relad ideas about monogamy and the facility of the Internet have produced a new golden age of slutty aunts.
They follow up, they text, we talk, make plans…it’s all good. On the other hand, I don’t know how to manage this.
I know I need to make a decision before things go too far (becoming too physical), but how do I know when?
The bad news: without more specific details, I’m not sure you can.