By accepting the negative as inevitable, I’m able to appreciate and showcase the positive evidences of God’s grace.During a Sacred Marriage conference, a woman came up to me and said, “I have a very difficult marriage…” “You don’t have to tell me you have a difficult marriage,” I answered. ” It took a while for what I was saying to sink in, but eventually, it did, and the woman smiled.It’s not fair to compare your marriage to something you’ve seen in a movie or read about in a novel—that marriage isn’t real. What an amazing thing that another human being would do this with me instead of running away.And even if you see a marriage at church, you don’t know what’s really going on during less public moments. “Gary,” the email read, “What does a wife do when her husband doesn’t love her like Christ loves the church?Once I accept that my spouse will regularly stumble, the point of evaluation changes dramatically. Well, there was only one perfect person who ever walked this earth, and he never got married.When I embrace the biblical truth that every spouse stumbles in many ways, when my wife acts up, I realize she’s acting normally.
Admittedly, this is an extreme example, but all of us have hearts that tend toward dismissing our own faults while magnifying the flaws of our spouse.This is the reality of human relationships in light of sin.Your spouse is human; therefore, they stumble—and not just once or twice, but in many ways.This means that, instead of focusing on the occasional disappointment, I can be grateful for the positive acts of love: every spouse stumbles, but not every spouse acts so kindly.Every spouse stumbles, but not every spouse would put up with me for 22 years!After breaking up with a girl at 21, Joel looked in his mother’s stuff for poison.