Correct me if I'm wrong, but he has been doing this for eight months. Apparently I've never seemed this happy before -no one can discourage anything that breathes new life into you like that. I can sense his hesitations in marriage and that sort of thing. We were friends for 4 years before we started dating 10 months ago.What reason does he have for not doing it for eight more? Let them feed off your positive energy & be sure to mention what an admirable, inspiring man you have -yes, as much as possible, even if their stares become ice cold and their words fade into silence... I do understand where he is coming from, although I also definitely understand where you are coming from. For him, it is probably easy to get into the routine with just his kids (not that he is trying to set you aside). I have spent time (dinner...3 times) with the 15 yr old daughter and met the 10 yr old son.I'm hurt because I give him everything and I want him to be a part of my entire life, not just pieces. And yet, I regret loving him, loving the children, every day. I am dating a very recently divorced man with 3 kids who is 12 years older than me. He is so good to me, I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend when we're together. I know he wants a smooth transition for the kids, but I am left feeling lonely, sad and left out.I feel that if he loves me like he says he does then he should feel and do the same. I think that being with a divorced guy with kids really depends on the situation. I include him in all aspects of my life: I got him on my softball team, he's met/hung out with my friends multiple times, he's met my family, I invite him everywhere. I am dating a man with 2 sons from his ex-wife and a daughter with his ex-gf.
He wanted to be 100% sure that I was right for his familym, not just him. I tried everything to make it work I married him, and we eventually had a son.It is hard to think about being 2nd, but, if I had kids, they'd come first no matter what, so I love him all the more for getting his priorities straight. Kids are kids, but not forever, and they grow up fast, so give it time, and hopefully it'll work out for the best. I think now at the time I was vulnarable and lonely. Then he had another kid with some girl that he ahd a one night stand with. His baby mamas were terrible to me, always trying to start stuff to much drama I felt like I was on a continuous episode of Jerry Springer. I just want to say it may be great now, but hows it going to be 4 years from now. I wish I could say I had had my husbands first kid not his fourth. Mush as I wanted to accept all his flaws, he was so adamant to compromise anything. now I am very happy with my new man, very responsible, no exwife, no kids. Its the notion well I caught an ok fish but do I really want to put the effort in throwing it back so I can fish for something better. If you love someone but you arent sure then its not love Ive had to learn this.Money was always tight because of his child support. What do you want in life I never thought about it then, but I think about it everyday now. LOL...seems like decades ago when I wrote about my story here. Someone once told me if a man really loves you hell move heaven and earth for you. If hes putting you on the back burner for other things then its not love its convience for them.The excuse well I got kids so youll always be second is lame.The relationship you have with your kids is not the same as the one you have with your spouse.Once the kids and I met (about 6 months into our relationship) we hit it off, and it's been great. But it always seemed like I was trying to get attention from him.