Dating after divorce with young kids

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It’s a different game to date when you’re a parent and while there are no hard and fast rules, parents and experts agree on some guidelines – the least of which is, let them be ready before you are.

“No matter their ages, explain (to your children) why you’re dating and that no one will ever replace the other parent,” says Dr.

It still amazes me how quick I am to picture a woman around my daughters and wonder how she will be with them.

I think it is natural when you meet someone after divorce, particularly if you are a excited about them as a potential second chance, to envision that person in other parts of your life.

As I have met new women, I find myself attracted to the layers, to their own brokenness, to our common ground and the resilience that comes with life experience. I think I see an inspirational quote every minute on Instagram, specifically about overcoming our failures, learning from mistakes, and being a better person each day.

Not that it requires having been through a divorce … These mantras can get tiresome, but that doesn’t make them less true.

I find it far more attractive and meaningful when someone actively supports an idea or cause.

“Tell them they are your first priority and you’ll always be there for them, no matter who you’re dating.” If kids are resistant or negative, don’t get defensive. “I’ve done a pretty careful job of limiting (my son’s) exposure to anybody that I wasn’t 100 percent sure could be marriage (material),” says Sean Singer, a divorced dad in Plymouth.

Over time, I’ve learned I need to be firm on a few things I need in a partner.

I’m hoping these will be lessons that stick, so if the right person comes along I won’t be too confused to recognize her. Attraction and chemistry are definitely important, but with all the lessons life has thrown my way, I find myself appreciating time with people who stand for something.

They are sharp little people and can tell when I get excited.

And every time it happens, they give me the same advice, “Just call her, dad.”At the end of the day, I understand dating isn’t all about how a woman fits into my life. While my daughters are old enough to be curious, they are far away from dating age.

Luckily, dating for me isn’t about meeting a woman who can mother my girls.

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